Happy Spring to all!
I must say I’m very excited that the sun and warm weather is returning. I think we all notice the added enthusiasm and joy present as the winter melts away.
It brings back a sense of hope and promise of a long hot summer. Beaches, cottages, concerts and more to look forward to 🙂
I have been wanting to write a blog explaining the difference between sexual appetite and sacred connection for a while now, but had to wait for the right moment and inspiration.
Having been in this industry for a few years now, and having gone through a few devastating relationships myself … I will do my best to explain the perspective these experiences have brought me.
Love and connection are divine and sacred. Special. Rare. Spiritual. Deep. Life changing. And unfortunately it seems only a fraction of people get to experience the paradigm shift a love affair can bring to one’s life.
Sex (for men) can be/is popularly represented as sport! Fun! Exciting and temporary. Quick fix. Distraction. A band aid for anything and everything they want to AVOID looking at in their lives. And hey we all have bad habits. Whether it’s drinking, gambling, eating, shopping, sex, porn … I’m simply stating that it is typically more of a male characteristic to desire sex based on lust and appetite. Women tend to seek connection, tenderness, bonding, relating, the giving and taking of sacred energy and experience.
Now don’t get me wrong. I’m not saying it’s wrong to seek sex for sport. I’m simply saying that it’s different than what most women are looking for. (And believe me, having met a lot of you I’ve also heard a lot of stories where the opposite is true. The woman was unfaithful, affairs, bad divorces etc.)
So this typically and very generically seems to be the biggest point of contention between men and women.
‘Women want love as a lifestyle, men want love as a vacation.’ – MW
Men are typically more concerned with business, industry, the affairs of the day, money, capital, production and the expansion of all things foundational and practical in their lives.
Ive always loved this quote:
“Shall I confess it?- I believe in broken hearts, and the possibility of dying of disappointed love! I do not, however, consider it a malady often fatal to my own sex; but I firmly believe that it withers down many a lovely woman into an early grave. . . Man is the creature of interest and ambition. . . but a woman’s whole life is a history of the affections.”
What it comes down to … is … are you living with your heart? Or are you living (mostly) in your mind, in your head?
Most people struggle with the balance of masculine duties and feminine nurturing in life. The reality is that we require both masculine practicality, rationality, common sense and efficiency; though as we all intrinsically know we also require love, comfort, connection, sweetness, nurturing and gentleness too.
When learning about ourselves and relationships it’s important to know where we are on the spectrum. What is it that we are searching for in our lives? What are we looking to develop in ourselves? What are our most important values and priorities?
For me, I have DEFINITELY learned that what I’m seeking is: HEART. People who are connected to their love and light, their kindness, their desire to help humanity and to believe in each other.
Money, fame, status, looks, wealth … These are all external and empty attributes that will ultimately fade or disappear.
What we never lose and never forget … is the LOVE we have given and received.
Ultimately everything else is meaningless.
Personally I have evolved from being a purely sexual and lustful being … into a kind, loving, compassionate and layered human being who has deepened her relationship with life, the universe, the ultimate source of all loving and of course with the heart of all men.
And I know what I choose to be everyday, and from where in my heart I choose to reside.
To me the answer is simple.
Live with and by the wisdom of your heart. Stay connected with all things sacred and divine. Treat yourself as if you are a part of the magic. And treat all others like they are too.
When we do this, we always find our way.