The Toxicity of Judgment

Happy New Year to All 🙂

I wanted to share about judgment today. How we as human beings are constantly judging ourselves and others.

We judge:

– how we look

– how others look

– how much money we have or don’t have

– how much money others have or don’t have

– how much success/attention/status we acquire

– how much success/attention/status others portray

– whether we are lazy, focused or hard working

– whether others are lazy, focused or hard working

– our sins, mistakes, embarrassments

– others’ sins, mistakes, embarrassments


etc etc etc


What this job has taught me more than ever, is that ‘beauty is truly in the eye of the beholder.’

What I mean by this is that other people will judge me based on their own perceptions of their lives and themselves.

For example:

Someone may call me fat, all the while they actually judge their own body as ‘less than desired’.

Someone may call me ‘expensive’ or ‘greedy’ when they themselves are either struggling with money, or bad at handling their own money.

Basically we will be judged at the level of the perpetrators wounding.

My basic rule of thumb to come back to … is that HAPPY FOLKS DON’T GO OUT OF THEIR WAY TO TRY and BRING OTHER PEOPLE DOWN.

Happy  people spend their time on productive things in life. Their own passions, interests and dreams. They inherently know that to insult or judge someone is a way of harming themselves. That is why the kindest people in the world HELP others and do not hinder them.

You see if/when you judge someone, or yourself; you subconsciously trigger a mechanism for self-punishment. Because part of you knows it’s not nice to do harm to anyone. So you will continue to harm yourself by trying to bring more people down with you. (Or some other way of extending your own pain.)

This is why it’s important to note that people who judge, criticize, demean or insult are simply projecting their own pain.

People who love themselves have compassion for their weaknesses. They do not self condemn. Therefore they will not project judgment onto others either.

So remember this !! Next time someone treats you poorly, remember it’s an extension of their wound.

Its not you.

We are all perfect and whole just as we are. Even if we have flaws.

Those who truly love and appreciate you will celebrate your flaws and love all parts of you.

This is particularly important to remember in our relationships whether they be romantic, friendships, or colleagues.

To loving who we are 🙂