If you knew every part of you was okay, acceptable, perfect and lovable … How would it change your life?
Most of us are running around in the world like little hampsters on wheels, going going going, trying trying trying to be better, better looking, richer, earning respect and praise of others, attention of the opposite sex etc etc
And for most this is a quest that never ends. This is why it’s so common to hear people on their death beds gasping, ‘I wish I had loved those around me more. I wish I had appreciated what I had instead of constantly trying to improve. I wish I had traveled more, experienced more, loved more.’
I had a moment last week where I got really upset. For no specific reason. And that moment expanded into 4 days of feeling completely lost, helpless, empty and confused.
Yes I’ve been recovering from a break up but I was doing much better as of late. There was no reason for this sudden lapse of perspective. I noticed how hard on myself I was for it. What’s wrong with me?! I asked. Can’t you snap out of it? This is unacceptable. You are pathetic. Etc etc
It took me a few days of fighting against this bad mood to finally realize, hey, it’s ok to be in a bad mood sometimes. In fact it’s inevitable. And yes sometimes it makes absolutely no sense!
Why do we view these moments as ‘bad’ anyways? There’s no reason to call it that. Perhaps it’s frustrating and stressful but hey what in life isn’t?!
So I decided to declare that my sadness is sacred.
My emptiness is sacred.
My frustration and disappointment in myself is sacred.
These places of pain and wounding inside me are sacred.
This is real. This is the real me. I am not always happy, prosperous, loving and sweet. Sometimes I feel bleak. And that’s ok!
I heard a mentor say the other day, that emotions are present in the equal degree in either direction. This means if you can experience deep sadness, that you are also capable of deep joy. If you can feel anger, resentment and hate, you can also experience celebration, freedom and delight.
Many people call this ‘learning to love your shadow’. Your shadow being everything you don’t quite love and accept about yourself. Perhaps you’re late, lazy, have a bad temper and easily insult others. Or you’re indiscriminately hard on yourself.
The more we can embrace what we don’t like about ourselves … The more we can learn to let ourselves off the hook and just forgive ourselves for our faults.
Just imagine how much easier life would be if we could embrace this mentality?
So you feel lost? It’s ok.
So you feel broke? It’s ok.
So you feel devastated, angry and helpless?
You’ll find when you just accept it as a temporary state of mind, that it will easier pass and move through you. And you’ll more easily bring about the conditions to change these undesirable states.
‘A miracle is a change in perception from fear to love’ – A Course in Miracles
And just imagine your relationship with this concept applied?!
So youre gf/wife/love is angry at you today? It’s ok. She must be in a bad moment.
So she didn’t thank you for dinner today? You can forgive her.
So she forgot to pick up the kids? Oh well you can improvise. Everyone gets to make a mistake.
Practicing acceptance is very powerful.
How beautiful would it be to relate to others in this way? To simply flow through obstacles like a river. To bounce and pivot around any obstruction. Within yourself and without.
That feels peaceful.
And you see BECAUSE I experienced this discomfort last week, I can now come to you with this blog, and hopefully it will be exactly what some of you needed to hear today.
There are two sides of any coin 😉
When in hell … Seek the contrast.
When YOU can love all of you, the good, the bad and the ugly… This also means you’re capable of holding this space of non-judgment for another. That means you can be a space of love and acceptance and peace.
And what are we all so desperately searching for in each other?
Love Klara ?